Posted on 20 June 2011 | Comments Off
Sharing your sexual experiences with your partner can be both exciting and nerve wracking. It can also be important when you get together with a new partner simply for safety reasons as well. If you become exclusive you want to know what their background is before you have sex, especially if you are in to bareback. There is a time and a place to start sharing this information, and a good way to approach it. Here are some helpful tips if you are in this stage or wondering about when to bring it up.
There is no point in bringing up your sexual past on the first date unless you are seeking a swinging partner. Otherwise, this should wait for a while. For a typical couple the issue of the past relationships will come up after a couple of dates, but the sexual stuff can wait until you get more serious. There isn’t a specific time that works for every couple, but be sure you aren’t pushing it. You’ll know when the time is right. Wait until you are already very comfortable with your partner before you start talking about it.
How to Approach It
It’s never a good idea to just blurt out how many people you’ve been with. If you decide the time is right, you can approach the subject gently. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but don’t be terribly specific in your questions. For instance, don’t ask about their best sexual experience. Instead, ask questions about their favorite bedroom activities, what turns them on, etc. This will typically open the door for more frank discussion about specific past experiences.
Posted on 19 May 2011 | Comments Off
Without setting rules before hand, swinging can become a nightmare. Rules are set up to help avoid issues with jealousy and other emotions that can drive a wedge between otherwise healthy couples. The rules serve a very important purpose, and you should take some time to sit down and create some rules for your activities before you jump in to the community.
Talk About Jealousy
Even with great rules in place, jealousy will still pop up. This is normal and healthy. The difference between couples who swing and those who don’t is that couples that swing deal with it and confront it head on. If you are open about what would make you jealous you will be more capable of creating rules that can work around this. You should also have a rule in place for when the feelings become to intense. This way you can pull your partner aside and discuss this without leaving harsh feelings that can’t be overcome later.
Decide Why Swinging
Everyone swings for different reasons. Some like the thrill of watching others and some will enjoy being able to openly express and explore their sexuality. Before you can come up with effective rules you need to know why you are drawn to the lifestyle in the first place. This will help you decide what type of swinging you want to try. For instance, some couples will choose to soft swing only. This means no penetration with others, but they may be able to watch, be watched, or participate in oral activities. Some will decide they want to fully embrace swinging and be open swingers – meaning they can pretty much do as they please. Even open swingers will have rules though to keep their relationship healthy and strong.
Posted on 4 April 2011 | Comments Off
One of the most important aspects of swinging is setting limits. If you don’t have limits set before you start swinging you will risk having a very bad experience. This is compounded when you start swinging with a new partner, as they may have different limits and boundaries than you are used to. Spend some time discussing your past experiences and come up with your own set of rules and limits before you hit the scene with a new partner. Here’s a good jumping board.
Types of Swinging
There are many facets in the world of swinging. Some people prefer soft swinging while others would rather have an open situation. When you start meeting new swingers, or decide with your current partner to become active in the lifestyle, you need to decide what part of the lifestyle attracts you the most. This will help you determine what kind of limits you need to set up. You may be open to people watching you but not participating, or you may be interested in a full swing where both parties are free to do what they want with who they want.
When it comes to swinging there shouldn’t be much compromise. If your partner only wants to watch others, you won’t be able to break this limit and swing with other couples. Broaching this subject can create jealousy and tension, and will just lead to a bad time. Instead of compromise you should either completely respect your partner’s limits or find another partner to play with. In most cases you will be able to come up with a plan that will work for both of you and allow you to both to have fun without creating issues that can’t be overcome.
Posted on 18 March 2011 | Comments Off
Jealousy is not something that swingers are immune to. Just like anyone else, the thought of having sexual relations with anyone other than their partner can create problems around jealousy. There are ways to deal with this in a healthy manner and not give up the swinging lifestyle. Here’s how you should start to deal with any feelings of jealousy that may come up before they get out of hand.
If you start to feel guilty after a swinger meet, you should explore the reason. If your partner is aware of your activity then you can talk openly about the guilt. Most often the guilt is a form of jealousy. You may feel badly because you had a good time, or the sex was different than it is with your partner. If you can talk to your partner about the guilt, they may be able to help dissuade it. You may also need to set up new rules or go over the existing ones. It may be fixed by simply restructuring the rules. If your partner doesn’t know about the activities, then you should stop if you have feelings of guilt.
Not for Everyone
Swinging is not an activity that everyone can pull off. You have to be very open with your partner, be able to communicate, and be able to confront the feelings as they happen. If you feel guilt after the first few times you swing, this isn’t abnormal. However, if the feelings continue after several tries, it may not be a lifestyle that is suited for you. There are ways you can still participate in swinging activities without this being an issue. For instance, if you decide to just swing with your partner and allow others to watch or watch others you can still experience swinging in full force without the issues of guilt or jealousy coming up.
Posted on 26 February 2011 | Comments Off
If you are a person that enjoys swinging but wants to stop, then you may find yourself unable to do so. This is something that is actually quite common. People that get used to having a specific sex life can really end up having a hard time giving it up. Make sure that you understand why you want to stop and then figure out if you need help or if you just need to look at things from a different perspective.
Reasons to Stop
There are a lot of reasons why people decide that they want to stop swinging. The most common reason is because they get with a person that does not want to be a swinger. If this is the case, then you need to think long and hard about this. If you are willing to choose this person over swinging, then you need to make sure that you aren’t only doing it for them. No matter how much you may like a person if they come into a relationship trying to change you, then it is going to be doomed from the start.
If you really and truly want to stop swinging but can’t seem to do it, then you may need to consider professional help. You may be addicted to sex or you may simply have some emotional issues that you need to work out with a therapist. Think about if it is the sex that keeps you coming back or if it is something deeper than that, and then go from there.
Posted on 21 January 2011 | Comments Off
If you are considering a threesome without your wife you will need to make sure that you keep a few things in mind. Whenever you have sex with anybody else without your partner you will need to make sure that you understand why you want to do this. Whether it is because your wife does not want to partake in the activities or because you want to see what else is out there it is a good idea for you to figure it out first.
Honesty is usually the best policy in any relationship. Even if you don’t want to invite your wife to join it is still a good idea to let her know what is on your mind. See if she wants to watch or at least help you pick out the women. This is something that can actually turn into something good for the both of you.
Choosing the Women
When you are choosing the women you need to make sure that you know how to do this. If you pick women that you know you always run the risk of making a relationship awkward afterwards. However, if you choose a stranger you will need to have to worry about how clean they are.
It is always important that you use protection whenever you are having a threesome, especially without your wife. This is something that can end up becoming a disaster if one of the other girls gets pregnant or has an STD. Keep yourself and your wife safe from any outside problems.